


Don't Ask For Much

by sunshinexbomb



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:10:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2485664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexbomb/pseuds/sunshinexbomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why don’t you like to kiss me?” Niall blurts out. His face heats up as soon as he says it, his cheeks probably turning the ruddy red they usually do whenever he’s embarrassed. </p>
<p>Liam doesn’t laugh but he smiles a little, almost in disbelief. “What are you talking about Niall? Why wouldn’t I like to kiss you? Jesus, do you know how much time I spend thinking about kissing you? It’s probably best you didn’t actually, you’d think I was mental.”</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Or in which Niall realizes that Liam never kisses him in public and it starts messing with his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Ask For Much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elliebird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliebird/gifts).



> **WARNING: There's a part in the fic that features a character having a minor panic attack, so if that's triggering for you PLEASE BE WARY, THANK YOU.**
> 
> Thank you so much to [Ameet](http://thoughtfullpennies.tumblr.com) for your help and encouragement through the writing process and of course to [TC](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hybryd0) for being a lovely beta! Any mistakes left in here are my own.
> 
> I do not own One DIrection and this is clearly a work of fiction. Title is from Gerard Way's "Action Cat" off his debut album that you should totally check out, just saying.

  
“Have you and Liam ever kissed?”   
    
The question catches Niall off guard and he brings down his swing too quickly and with too much force. He frowns, watching his ball fly off into the sand dunes and not into the green like he intended.   
    
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he frowns, turning to Harry. He’s more than a little irritated. His game’s been nearly perfect so far.   
    
Harry’s got his head tilted to the side in genuine curiosity, no sign of his usual shit-eating grin on his face that means he’s said something to intentionally mess Niall up. “Sorry, it’s just something that’s been stuck on my mind for a while. And I remembered it when Liam texted you a few minutes ago.”   
    
Niall hadn’t mentioned that Liam texted him earlier. “How did you know it was Liam who texted me?”   
    
A dimpled grin grows on Harry’s face, cheeky and bright. “Because your face was doing this thing -”   
    
He stops to demonstrate, making his grin wider and his eyes all soppy. Niall definitely doesn’t look like that. Ever.   
    
“I don’t look like that.”   
    
“You do,” Harry argues, setting up his tee and placing his ball down on it with practiced precision. “It’s your Liam face. Liam has a Niall face too. It’s sort of like -”   
    
Harry squishes his face as much as it’ll go, eyes not quite forming the crescent moon shape that Liam’s do, but getting close. Niall knows exactly what face he’s talking about.   
    
“Liam looks at everyone like that,” Niall rolls his eyes. He fights down the temptation to push Harry’s ball off the tee so Harry’ll have to set it up again. “I see him make that face at Louis at least ten times a day.”   
    
“But it’s like extra squishy when he’s around you,” Harry insists. “But that’s not the point. The point is kissing. Or the lack of kissing. Between you and Liam.”   
    
“Liam and I kiss,” Niall says slowly, like he’s explaining something to a child.   
    
“I’ve never seen you do it though?” Harry asks, surveying the golf course with squinted eyes. He lines up behind the tee, shoulders squaring and muscles shifting under his polo shirt as he takes a few practice swings. “Like I would’ve remembered if you had. At least I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered.”   
    
“Are you keeping a log of mine and Liam’s relationship?” Niall asks, can’t helping the laugh that escapes from his mouth. “You’re so weird, Harry.”   
    
He’s never really thought about it, but Niall realizes now that Harry might be right. Liam and him have kissed plenty of times - they’ve done a lot more than kiss plenty of times also. But he can’t really recall any time they’ve done it in public or in front of other people. He doesn’t think Liam has any particular issues about PDA so.   
    
Harry takes a final swing, his club hitting the ball with a loud _thwack_. Niall watches it fly into the air and land cleanly on the green, not too far from the hole. It’s a clean shot, nearly perfect, landing more or less exactly where Niall wanted his ball to stop.   
    
Niall doesn’t take a swing anywhere close to Harry’s for the rest of the game.   
    
\--   
    
When they get back to the hotel, Liam’s not in their room, and Niall takes the opportunity to have a shower and clear his head a little. He’s been thinking about Harry’s observation nearly all day, and it just doesn’t sit right with him. Niall’s skin feels all tight and itchy and uncomfortable when he thinks about what it could mean.   
    
After his shower, Niall slips into a pair of joggers and Liam’s black Adidas sweatshirt that he finds lying on the floor. It’s a little bit big on him, the arms just a little long, but it’s warm and comfy and smells like Liam, so Niall thinks it’s perfect.   
    
Unsurprisingly, Niall finds Liam on Bus 1 with Zayn, making tea in the kitchen area, his hair a mess like he’s just woken up. It’s barely noon though, so it is quite possible he’s just woken up.   
    
“Hi, babe. How was your game?” he asks when he spots Niall walk in, his face going all soft. Niall determinedly doesn’t think about what Harry said about Liam having a “Niall look”.   
    
Liam’s leaning on the counter as he waits for his tea and Niall goes and sidles up next to him. Zayn’s paying no attention to the two of them, too busy with something on his phone. Before he can talk himself out of it, Niall steals a kiss from Liam, curious to his reaction.   
    
The first thing Liam does is freeze, only kissing Niall back quickly and chastely when he notices Zayn’s glued to his phone. He wraps his arm around Niall’s waist. It’s a small consolation for the disappointment Niall feels in the pit of his stomach.   
    
“Harry won,” Niall shrugs, making sure to keep his voice steady and calm. It’s not that hard. He doesn’t think he’s angry. More confused maybe. And yeah, definitely disappointed. There’s no denying that at all. “Arsehole kept messing me up on purpose.”   
    
Niall grins to show he’s not really that upset about losing the game, and it must look convincing enough because Liam smiles back, squeezing his side reassuringly and making him let out a genuine giggle. “You’ll get him next time, Ni. No worries.”   
    
\--   
    
Niall tries not to think about it, he really does. The kissing thing doesn’t bother him, not really, because there’s no reason it should.   
    
Except, okay. It totally does bother him a little.   
    
Now that Harry’s pointed it out, it’s always on the forefront of Niall’s mind. Little things stick out in his head like how whenever there are others in the room, Liam will never hold his hand or keep his arm around Niall’s waist or how if he ever does kiss him, it’s sloppily on his cheek or the side of his head like he’s always done before.   
    
It wouldn’t be such a big deal except well, Liam’s spent the better part of the last four years in relationships. Niall knows what he’s like in that loved-up honeymoon stage, knows that he’s never had a problem with PDA in the past. And this, the way he’s been acting with Niall, it’s not like him at all.   
    
Honestly, the whole situation makes Niall feel uncomfortable, like his skin is too small to keep in the worry and anxiety brewing up inside of him. Like most things that bother him he tries to push it away, tries to tell himself it’s nothing, but it’s just not working like he wants.   
    
Niall’s curled up next to Liam one day before their show later that night, oddly relaxed in the bubble of intimacy they’ve created on the couch among the chaos around them. It’s nice to just sit for once, Liam rubbing at Niall’s scalp soothingly as they both scroll through their phones. Niall wants to do this forever. He wants to sit with Liam and he wants to just exist together without all the worry that he’s been plagued with lately.   
    
It doesn’t last long of course, these things never do. And like with most things, the moment is ruined as soon as Louis walks into the room.   
    
“Liam James Payne, what is that?”   
    
Louis’s eyes are wide, his gaze zeroed in on the darkening bruise on Liam’s neck. It’s clearly visible, even after Lou tried to cover it with makeup, and Niall feels the tips of his ears burn suddenly in embarrassment as he remembers leaving it there the night before.   
    
Liam stiffens next to Niall as Louis approaches them quickly. Louis’s on them in a second, practically sprawled on both their laps as he struggles to get a closer look at Liam.   
    
“Is this a - _lovebite_?” he whispers dramatically, craning Liam’s neck up and pressing against the mark with his thumb. Liam hisses a bit at the touch, and Niall can’t help the pool of heat that settles in his belly.   
    
“Louis, get off me,” Liam whines, pushing Louis’s hands away.   
    
Louis’s back on his feet before Liam has to use too much force to push him off. “That’s some fine work there, Horan. I’m quite impressed. Also a bit horrified, if I’m being honest, but mostly impressed.”   
    
“Um, thanks Lou,” Niall says, not really know how to respond. Liam’s dropped his arm down from around Niall’s shoulders and back into his own lap and Niall tries not to notice the bit of distance that’s suddenly between them.   
    
“Keep up the good work, mate,” Louis nods, patting Niall’s cheek in a way that would probably be condescending if it wasn’t for the genuine pride in his expression.   
    
Liam shifts awkwardly in his seat as Louis bounds over to Harry, his attention already lost to something new. A hand comes up to cover his neck right on top of the lovebite. He doesn’t say anything to Niall, just sending him a sheepish smile instead. Niall tries to smile back but it seems forced, unnatural, like when he’s standing in front of the camera during photoshoots.   
    
Liam doesn’t bother closing the gap between them again.   
    
\--   
    
“Niall James, how are you doing tonight?”   
    
Liam comes up and slings an arm around Niall’s shoulder, smiling down at him like he’s the only one in the room. Niall’s heart does something weird and ridiculous. Liam’s always looked most beautiful on stage, pink-faced and glistening with sweat and smiling so wide Niall wonders how it doesn’t hurt.   
    
“Doing quite well, Liam James. Lovely being here with all these beautiful people.”   
    
The crowd screams, predictably, and Niall soaks it all in. He’s practically buzzing with the energy of it all, his senses heightened by the adrenaline rush. Liam is warm and solid against him, and Niall feels closer to him than he has in days, maybe weeks.   
    
“That’s wonderful, mate!” Liam laughs. “You look quite dashing tonight. I’m a big fan of this top.”   
    
Liam pulls down on the hem of Niall’s vest playfully, making the already low-cut collar drop farther down his chest. The shrieks around them are absolutely deafening.   
    
“I would hope so, Liam, seeing as it’s yours,” Niall replies with a grin and a wink that makes Liam laugh.   
    
Liam raises his eyebrows in mock surprise. “Thought it looked familiar.”   
    
“Have you two quite finished?” Louis scowls with pursed lips and playful eyes that betray his supposed annoyance. “In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve have a show to do here, boys.”   
    
Liam giggles and bounds over to Louis instead, saying something that Niall doesn’t catch but makes the crowd cheer loudly.   
    
Trying to categorize these different sides of Liam has been hard for Niall. In the morning, Niall sees a Liam that’s soft grins and sweet kisses and loving words whispered into his ear as they exchange sloppy handies in a large hotel bed. In the afternoon, Niall sees a Liam that’s more guarded with his touches and more careful with his words while he’s around the lads and their crew. At night, Niall sees the same Liam he’s been in love with for four years, one that’s bright and open and passionate, never hesitant in showing his love for his job or his love for the boys who have been become his whole life.   
    
Watching Liam now, swinging his hips ridiculously and waving to the crowd between his lines, Niall wonders if him and Liam are truly on the same page. Niall thinks that maybe the Liam he sees in the morning isn’t what Liam wants from him. Most days, Liam doesn’t act much different around him, still treating him like Niall his best mate instead of Niall his boyfriend.   
    
Liam smiles at Niall from across the stage, and it feels like a punch to the gut. Niall’s adored Liam for as long as he can remember. He admires Liam’s drive and passion, revels in the way that Liam can make him laugh without trying too hard. Niall’s always been drawn to Liam because Liam keeps him grounded, makes him feel relaxed. In the wild ride his life has become, Liam’s always felt like home.   
    
Knowing Liam doesn’t feel the same way would destroy Niall. There’s no doubt in Niall’s mind that Liam loves him. He’s not oblivious to the way Liam smiles at him or the tenderness with which Liam kisses him behind closed doors. But still, Niall wonders if that’s what Liam really wants, or if it’s only what he thinks Niall needs.   
    
Liam makes his rounds around the stage, slotting himself next to Niall and slipping his arm around his shoulders again. Niall leans into him out of habit and sings his verse, smiling wide when Liam kisses his cheek sloppily at the end of it.   
    
It’s easy to ignore the gnawing discomfort at the pit of his stomach for now, but he knows he’ll have to deal with it soon enough.   
    
\--   
    
Niall’s surprisingly tired after the show that night, a heaviness in his bones that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He’s quiet on the way back to the hotel, choosing to curl up next to Zayn in the back of the van while Liam bounces around with his usual energy, discussing something animatedly with Louis and Harry in the front.   
    
He goes to his own hotel room for once, showering quickly and hoping that the warm water will clear his head and relax his tired muscles. His knee is aching a bit more than usual, but it’s more annoying than worrying. Once out of the shower he changes into something loose and comfortable, hoping to fall asleep quickly and sleep off all his discomfort.   
    
There’s a knock on the door though right before Niall’s about to get into bed, and he sighs, already sure about who it is.   
    
Sure enough, Liam’s there, showered and dressed nicely like he usually only is when he’s going out somewhere.   
    
“Hi, babe,” he greets warmly, kissing Niall with his hands gently cupping either side of Niall’s face. “Was gonna go check out the hotel bar with Louis. Do you want to join us?”   
    
Liam looks eager and excited, and Niall can tell he’s still restless from the show like he is always is. There’s a bitter part of Niall that wonders if Liam really does want him there.   
    
“No, ‘m a bit tired,” Niall declines, removing Liam’s hands from his face and just loosely holding them between the two of them. “Go have fun with Lou. Think I’m gonna turn in early.”   
    
Immediately Liam’s lips turn down in a frown, his thick eyebrows furrowing together. “Is everything okay? I can stay with you if you want -”   
    
“No,” Niall interrupts, sighing when Liam pouts. “Just sleepy, Liam. Please go out. I don’t want to ruin your night.”   
    
“If you’re sure -?”   
    
Niall nods, pressing what he hopes is a reassuring kiss to Liam’s mouth. It works he thinks, because Liam relaxes against him immediately.   
    
“I’ll be fine. Go,” Niall insists.   
    
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Liam asks, already stepping back into the hallway, ready to leave.   
    
“‘Course.”   
    
Liam steals one more kiss from Niall before turning down the hall and for once, Niall feels a strange sense of relief watching him go.   
    
\--   
    
Niall decides it’s best to distance himself from Liam for a while so he can clear his head, think things through, and try to be rational about things. Niall discovers two things extremely quickly though.   
    
One, avoiding Liam is incredibly difficult when they’re living practically living on top of each other. Liam’s always there, on the bus, in the hotel, backstage, on stage. It’s impossible to stay away from him, especially when he smiles brightly at Niall, attracting him like a moth to a flame.   
    
Which brings point two. Niall is not rational when it comes to Liam. He doesn’t think he’s ever been. Not when he was sixteen and eager to get his cute, shy room mate to crack a smile and definitely not now when he’s twenty-one and eager to get Liam moaning and panting against his skin.   
    
Niall’s probably making things harder for himself, if he’s being completely honest. He doesn’t know how much longer he can continue with waking up next to Liam in the morning and then staying as clear of him as possible during the day. He’s acting worse than Liam has been with him and it makes him feel like shit, but he also doesn’t know what else to do. It’s a twisted form of self preservation, and for now, it’s the only plan he’s got.   
    
Liam finds Niall alone in one of the dressing rooms before their next show. Niall’s lying across the couch, songbook open in his lap as he tries to work through some lyrics he’d scribbled down during a writing session with Tom and Danny a while back. His head’s a mess though, too muddled to get down anything good.   
    
“Niall, babe,” Liam smiles as he comes over, “been looking for you everywhere.”   
    
Niall sits up and allows Liam to cuddle into his side. He feels a warm bubbling in his stomach like he always does with Liam, a calm washing over him as the two of them sit together.   
    
“Have you been working all day? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages,” Liam says, hooking his chin over Niall’s shoulder and trying to peer into his notebook.   
    
Niall shrugs, shuffling Liam and making him giggle without meaning to. “It’s nothing, just something I had from a while ago. And you saw me this morning, you donut. Last night too.”   
    
“I know, but we haven’t really talked or just like chilled or anything in a while,” Liam points out. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were ignoring me.”   
    
Niall bristles, shrugging Liam off and scooting over a bit so they’re not as close. He hasn’t been ignoring Liam exactly, but he might as well have been. “‘Course not, Leemo.”   
    
Liam frowns, a look of rejection on his face that makes Niall feel sick to his stomach. He keeps repeating in his head that this is for the best though. If Niall wants to figure this out, he can’t do it with Liam pressed against him and making his heart flutter.   
    
“Niall, is everything alright -?”   
    
“Jesus, Liam everything’s fine,” Niall snaps, cutting Liam off. He regrets it immediately when Liam purses his lips and nods, dropping the hand he’d been reaching over towards Niall. “Sorry, Li. I just - guess the tour’s catching up to me, making me stressed.”   
    
Liam smiles weakly, hesitantly placing his hand on Niall’s leg, thumb pressing into the inside of Niall’s thigh. “It’s okay, babe, we’ve all been there. Just, talk to me if something’s bothering you, okay? Want things to be alright between us. You’re my rock, Niall. Don’t want to see you crumble.”   
    
Niall swallows past the lump in his throat, allowing Liam to kiss him sweetly on the cheek as he leaves the room. He’s got a lot of thinking to do.   
    
\--   
    
_meet me in my room after we get back to the hotel ? actually do got somethin i wanted to tlk to you bout._   
    
Niall texts Liam as soon as they’re in the vans, having gotten separated from him in the mad rush out of the stadium. Instead it’s Louis snuggled up next to him, not so discreetly reading over his shoulder.   
    
“Everything okay between you and Liam then?” Louis asks, tone sharp and serious.   
    
Niall smiles humorlessly, locking his screen and putting his phone away as soon as he gets his reply of _course babeeeee. c u soon xx_   
    
“Just some things on my mind.”   
    
“What kind of things?” Louis asks. He pokes at Niall’s side, making him giggle against his will. “C’mon, Neil, spill.”   
    
“Nothing,” he laughs, grabbing at Louis’s wrists as he continues tickling him. He’s light and breathless, already more relaxed than a few minutes ago. Louis’s always had that effect on him. “Just something dumb Harry said a couple weeks ago that I’ve been thinking about.”   
    
“Oh no,” Louis rolls his eyes, “what did Harry say? Niall, you know Harry talks some serious shit -”   
    
Louis’s teasing, and it makes Niall laugh again, a bubbly sort of happiness that he can’t contain as he cuddles into Louis’s side. “It’s nothing. I’m gonna talk to Liam about it tonight and it’ll be all fine, yeah?”   
    
“Good,” Louis nods, squeezing Niall’s waist comfortingly. “Don’t hurt Liam or I’ll beat you up. And don’t let Liam hurt you because I’ll beat him up also. Which would be much more difficult now that I think about it. Liam’s got a bit more muscle than you.”   
    
“You wouldn’t,” Niall grins, burying his face into Louis’s neck. Louis smells good, fresh and clean from his quick shower at the stadium. Most importantly, he smells familiar, safe, and almost like home.   
    
“No, I wouldn’t,” Louis admits, “but still, I want you two to be okay. Don’t want two of my best mates upsetting each other.”   
    
“We’ll be okay, Louis, promise.”   
    
Niall hopes that what he’s saying is true.   
    
\--   
    
Niall has just enough time to change into something more comfortable before there’s a knock at the door, Liam standing on the other side of it, biting his lip nervously.   
    
“Hey, babe, what did you want to talk about?” he asks, the casualness of his voice ruined by his fidgety hands and restless shuffling.   
    
Niall sighs, stopping himself from biting at his already worn-down cuticles. “Um, I want to ask you something and it might sound a bit strange? So just bear with me, yeah?”   
    
“Of course?” Liam nods, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He takes Niall’s hand, dragging him down so they’re sitting side-by-side on Niall’s large hotel room bed. Niall’s not sure if this makes things easier or not.   
    
Niall takes a couple deep breaths in order to control his pounding heart. It feels like it’s swelled up and taken residence somewhere in his throat, making it nearly impossible to think, let alone speak.   
    
“Niall,” Liam starts when Niall still hasn’t said anything for a while. He’s tugging at the bottom of his shirt restlessly, something Niall knows he does when he’s too keyed up, too full of energy he doesn’t know what to do with. “Did I - did I do something wrong? Or like I feel like you’ve been pulling away from me and I don’t know why? If I’ve upset you -”   
    
“Why don’t you like to kiss me?” Niall blurts out. His face heats up as soon as he says it, his cheeks probably turning the ruddy red they usually do whenever he’s embarrassed.   
    
Liam doesn’t laugh but he smiles a little, almost in disbelief. “What are you talking about Niall? Why wouldn’t I like to kiss you? Jesus, do you know how much time I spend thinking about kissing you? It’s probably best you didn’t actually, you’d think I was mental.”   
    
“But you -” Niall stops, taking another deep breath. “You don’t kiss me in front of people. Ever. You don’t hold my hand. You barely touch me. I’m pretty sure you were more affectionate before any of this started.”   
    
The soft smile on Liam’s face slips as Niall stumbles over his words, and Niall feels his heart plummet down deep into his stomach. Liam’s back to chewing on his bottom lip, his hands twitching in his lap like he wants to reach out for Niall but doesn’t know if it’s okay. Niall would give anything at that moment for Liam to touch him.   
    
“I - Niall it’s probably not what you think -”   
    
“I really hope not,” Niall admits quietly. “Because all I’ve been thinking is that you don’t want this as much as I do. That I’ve been a right tit by putting myself out there for you when all you’ve wanted was someone to wake up next to in the morning and maybe share a few orgasms with.”   
    
Liam lets out a small whine, fingers gently grabbing Niall’s chin and tilting his face up so they’re face to face. He looks like he’s going to say something but he leans in instead, kissing Niall slow and deep and thorough. Niall sinks into Liam immediately, grabs onto the fabric of his shirt as Liam parts the seam of his mouth with his tongue.   
    
Niall’s heart is settling back into his chest as Liam presses down on his shoulder softly, urging him to lie down on his back. Niall lets Liam guide him down, lets Liam continue to press desperate kisses to his mouth as he swings his legs over Niall’s hips, and lets his own hands wander until they settle at the nape of Liam’s neck and the side of his face.   
    
“It’s definitely not what you think then,” Liam finally says when they part. He’s breathless, voice husky and eyes glassy. He runs his thumb softly against Niall’s bottom lip before kissing him again, just once and much more tenderly than before. “Niall - fuck - I can’t believe you’ve been thinking that.”   
    
“I didn’t really know what to think,” Niall says sheepishly. “I hoped it wasn’t true, but once the idea was in my head, I had a hard time getting the damn thing out of there.”   
    
“God, Niall, you don’t understand how much I adore you,” Liam sighs. “I love you so much that sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. What I feel about you is incredibly ridiculous, babe. I want this. I want us. I want everything.”   
    
Liam rolls off Niall, tugging on Niall’s arm until they’re both lying on their side facing one another. It’d be really easy for Niall to lean in and kiss him again, but he can’t, not just yet.   
    
“But that doesn’t explain it,” Niall frowns. “Why you won’t kiss me around other people. I know you don’t have a problem with PDA, Payno. I know you much better than that. I haven’t forgotten Danielle or Sophia or anyone of them.”   
    
“This is a bit different than that isn’t it?” Liam asks. “I’m sure the lads don’t want to see the two of us kiss. Don’t want to make them uncomfortable or anything, right?”   
    
“Harry literally asked me if we ever kiss,” Niall deadpans. “Pretty sure the lads don’t give a fuck and you know that. Even if they didn’t want to see us snog you could still hold my hand or even put your arm around my bloody waist. That’s nothing they’ve never seen before.” Niall kicks at Liam’s shin gently. “Out with it, Liam. What’s really bothering you?”   
    
Liam sighs, sitting up and tugging nervously at his growing hair. Niall leans on his forearms, looking up at him expectantly.   
    
“Your turn to hear me out, mate,” Liam says, smiling with little humor.   
    
Niall just nods, waiting for him to continue.   
    
“This is my - you know I’ve never been with like another bloke before right?” Liam starts out tripping over his words just like Niall had earlier.   
    
Niall nods slowly. “Right. It’s mine too, Liam.”   
    
“No, but it’s different,” Liam protests, brow furrowed the way it always is when he’s frustrated or thinking hard about something. Niall wants to smooth the crinkles out with his thumb. “Like you said you’ve hooked up with other guys right? This is just your first actual relationship with one? Niall I’d never even thought about another boy like that before the first time I realized I really wanted to kiss your dumb face off.”   
    
“So, what? Are you not sure about this then?” Niall frowns. He’s confused, feeling just as frustrated as Liam looks because he just wants to understand. He wants to know what to do to make this work.   
    
“No - no, Niall, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Liam explains. “Just sometimes I get worried I guess? Or nervous? Like what if the fact that I love you isn’t enough for some people? This is new to me. I’ve never had to worry that people would think that what I’m doing isn’t -”   
    
“Isn’t what, Liam?” Niall interrupts. “Isn’t normal? Isn’t right? Is that how you feel? That this is something we shouldn’t be doing?”   
    
Liam shrinks back visibly as Niall sits up all the way, shaking his head furiously. “No, Niall. Stop putting words in my mouth and just fucking listen to me.”   
    
Niall’s blood is pounding in his ears, disbelief consuming him. This isn’t how he’d imagined the conversation going at all. “I’m listening, Liam.”   
    
“Are you?” Liam snaps, glaring at him. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t seem like it. Niall I’m telling you that I love you, that I don’t care that you’re a bloke, and you’re what? Accusing me of being a fucking homophobe? I know how I feel about you, Niall, and I’m okay with it. But I don’t know how other people feel. People who work with us, people who see us every day. Not everyone on this crew is gonna be too chuffed about seeing two blokes snogging backstage before every show.”   
    
Liam’s words hit Niall like a ton of bricks and he immediately deflates, trying to calm himself with deep breathes and blunt fingernails digging into his palm. He knows that Liam’s right and he knows that he overreacted.   
    
“Right,” he says finally, “sorry. I just. That was shit of me, I shouldn’t have said that. Or thought that of you. Sorry.”   
    
Liam exhales harshly through his nose, but when he pulls Niall in for a kiss it’s soft and gentle. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you for thinking what you did - I don’t have exactly the cleanest track record with these things. But, Niall, I don’t want you to think for a single second that I don’t love you or that I don’t want this. Because I do. So, so badly.”   
    
“What you’re feeling, there’s nothing wrong with it,” Niall says. He caresses Liam’s cheek, runs the pad of his thumb over his growing stubble. “It can be scary when it’s new. We’re just gonna have to work through this together, I suppose. One step at a time?”   
    
Liam nods, smile the most genuine it’s been all night. The apples of his cheek rise and his eyes crinkles softly. Niall’s always thought the warmth of Liam’s smile would make the sun feel cold and lifeless. It’s more like a blue hypergiant, ready to explode into a supernova - comparable to one of the warmest things in the known universe.   
    
“One step at a time,” Liam agrees, pulling Niall into a kiss that fills him with that heat from the inside out.   
    
\--   
    
Harry’s calling his mum in his bunk so Niall and Liam take advantage of the empty backroom, popping in a film they can both agree on and curling up next to each other on the couch. Niall leans against Liam’s chest and sprawls out as best he can, and once he’s comfortable, Liam’s arm comes around him, his hand resting on Niall’s stomach and tangling with the one Niall’s already got sitting there. Their linked hands rise and fall steadily with Niall’s rhythmic breathing as they relax against each other.   
    
Harry finds them just like that halfway through the film. He opens the door to the back with a cheeky smile. “Am I interrupting something, boys?”   
    
Liam freezes for a second and Niall’s already loosening his grip on Liam’s hand, expecting him to drop it like usual. It doesn’t come though, and instead Liam squeezes his hand tighter. Niall feels him relax as he shrugs. “‘Course not. You’re free to join us, mate.”   
    
Niall’s a bit overwhelmed with what he’s feeling from the simple gesture and he refrains from turning and burying his face into the soft fabric of Liam’s shirt in his glee. He knows it’s been hard for Liam these past couple of weeks, trying to ease into becoming comfortable with his affection and Niall’s been patient, going at his pace. This is a big step though, and Niall wants to memorize every detail about this moment.   
    
“Liam,” Niall whispers, lifting his head up so he can see Liam and brings his free hand up to touch his stubble-lined jaw.   
    
Liam smiles down in reply, leaning into his touch. “What is it?”   
    
“Just wanted to say I love you,” Niall grins.   
    
The way Liam’s smile changes at that is brilliant. If Liam is a star, then Niall’s a distant planet who’s craving his warmth and stuck forever in his orbit.   
    
“I love you too, bro,” Liam says, kissing Niall’s palm sweetly before Niall brings it back down to rest by his side.   
    
Niall’s phone buzzes in his pocket as he turns back to the telly, and he’s oddly unsurprised to find a text from Harry when he fishes it out with a struggle.   
    
_not what i wanted, but i’ll take it. H x_   
    
\--   
    
Liam’s on Niall just as the door of his hotel room closes, pushing him back against it almost roughly as he leans down to kiss him fast and hard. Niall’s caught surprised by the intensity of Liam’s kiss, but it’s only a second before he’s pressing back just as insistently, his hands grabbing at Liam’s shirt and pulling him closer.   
    
“Jesus, what’s gotten into you?” Niall says breathlessly as Liam starts his mouth down Niall’s neck.   
    
“Was a good show wasn’t it?” Liam mumbles. “You looked so fucking good on stage tonight. Been thinking about putting my mouth on you the whole night.”   
    
Liam’s already fumbling with the button of Niall’s skinnies, and yanking them down quickly so they’re pooling around Niall’s ankles. Niall doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of the sight of Liam on his knees, pink mouth against the pale skin of his thighs.   
    
“Not even gonna take me to the bed? Thought you were a gentleman, Liam.”   
    
Liam nips playfully on Niall’s thigh in response before mouthing at the already damp cotton of Niall’s brief. “Do you want me to take you to the bed, princess? I can do that.”   
    
Before Niall can respond, Liam’s pushing his briefs down his thighs and wrapping a hand around his hard cock. Niall lets out a stuttered moan as Liam licks at the head of his leaking cock, his breath hitching when Liam starts taking him into the wet heat of his mouth.   
    
“No, door is - door’s good. This is fine,” Niall groans.   
    
Niall’s sure that if he could, Liam would be smirking around his cock, the cheeky bastard. Instead, Liam’s working his way farther down Niall’s prick, choking around it the more he takes in. Liam gives head sloppily and enthusiastically, lots of tongue and spit and little skill as he bobs his head. It’s brilliant though. Niall doesn’t think he’s ever felt anything as wonderful as the velvet softness of Liam’s mouth.   
    
Liam’s fingers dig into Niall thighs, tightening when Niall tugs at Liam’s hair a bit more roughly than he intended. It’s all the warning Liam gets before Niall’s coming, legs shaking with the force of his orgasm. He’s grateful for the door behind him, using it to support his weight as Liam pulls off his cock, the last few spurts of his come landing on Liam’s chin and mouth.   
    
“Sorry,” Niall pants, not actually very apologetic as he watches Liam wipe at his face with the back of his hand.   
    
“No worries,” Liam says as he rolls his eyes. “Anyways, I think I know what you can do as an apology.”   
    
He gets back on his feet, crowding Niall in a way that doesn’t make Niall feel as claustrophobic as it should. He kisses Niall deeply, Niall chasing the musky taste of himself in Liam’s mouth. Liam’s hips are stuttering against Niall’s leg, cock a hard, persistent line pressing at Niall’s thigh.   
    
Niall’s hand fumbles into Liam’s joggers, Liam pushing them down past his thighs as Niall grips his cock. His hands come up to Niall’s shoulders, face buried into the crook of Niall’s neck as he fucks into Niall’s hand. Niall thumbs at the sensitive slit of his cock, collecting the precome beaded there to ease his way down Liam’s prick.   
    
Niall knows he’s being teasingly slow. Liam’s panting hot and damp onto his skin, letting out a small whine as Niall flicks his wrist. “Niall - for fuck’s sake -”   
    
Niall laughs loudly, tilting Liam’s face up so he can kiss him. He moves his hand faster as he presses against Liam’s mouth, biting at his bottom lip and until Liam tenses and comes over his hand with a shudder.   
    
“Moving to the bed sounds like a good idea now,” Liam mumbles sleepily. Niall can feel the smile pressing into his shoulder as Liam slumps against him.   
    
“I’m not carrying you.”   
    
They stumble the rest of the way to the bed, clumsily stripping off the rest of their clothes as they go. Niall collapses into the bed first, Liam following and wrapping an arm around his middle and resting his head on Niall’s chest.   
    
Niall’s eyelids are heavy, and he’s already starting to drift off when Liam says, “Do you want to go on a date?”   
    
“Didn’t have to blow me to ask me on a date,” Niall jokes, yelping when Liam pinches his side.   
    
“I’m serious,” Liam giggles, “I want to take you out. We could go to some fancy restaurant where we can’t understand half the menu and then maybe take a walk in a park or something. I want it to be proper romantic.”   
    
“Sure, Liam. If that’s what you want,” Niall says softly, trying to control the overwhelming love he feels for this dumb boy who wants to take him on dates and is willing to get over his own fears and worries to make him happy. Niall doesn’t know what he did to get this lucky.   
    
\--   
    
“You realize that it’s just Liam right? Also that you’re already dating?”   
    
Harry’s voice is smug and teasing and Niall retaliates by throwing a pair of pants out of his suitcase and into his general direction. He hopes they aren’t clean.   
    
“Seriously, Niall, what are you even looking for?” Harry asks, dropping a hand onto Niall’s shoulder and startling him where he’s bent over his open suitcase.   
    
Niall frowns, shifting through more over-sized t-shirts and low cut vests. “Something nice. He said we were going somewhere fancy.”   
    
He’s not sure what he’s so nervous about. Harry’s right - it’s just Liam. He does things with Liam all the time - golf, basketball games, even fucking red carpet events. But this is - different. He hasn’t done anything with Liam since they started dating and this dinner feels big. It’s a step forward, one that’s bigger than holding hands in front of Harry or Liam kissing him chastely while the crew bustles around them.   
    
“Unbelievable,” Harry sighs, pushing Niall over gently. Niall lands softly on his bum, pouting as Harry digs through what’s left in Niall’s suitcase after he’s thrown most of it around the room in frustration.   
    
By some miracle, Harry unearths a pair of tight black jeans without holes and a wrinkled blue buttondown that Niall didn’t even know he owned.   
    
“Do you have an iron?” Harry asks, rolling his eyes when Niall gives him a _what the fuck do you think_ look. “Nevermind. You owe me, Horan.”   
    
“Thank you so much for saving my sorry arse, Harry,” Niall laughs, relaxing a bit now that he knows what to wear and has Harry helping him through this.   
    
“What would you ever do without me?” Harry grins. “Now, time to get dressed.”   
    
There’s a knock on the door just as Niall’s putting the final touches to his hair, and Harry rushes to answer it, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste.   
    
“Liam,” Niall hears Harry say brightly, “don’t you look dashing?”   
    
“Thank you, Stylesy,” Liam laughs. “Is Niall ready?”   
    
Niall walks out of the bathroom to join them, can’t helping the smile that spreads across his face when he sees Liam. He really does look good in his crisp white button up with a leather jacket thrown on top. Liam’s hair is slicked to the side and his facial hair trimmed neatly to line his face. Niall thinks he’s breathtaking.   
    
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Niall shrugs, still with the same face-splitting grin.   
    
Liam’s eyes soften as he takes Niall in, and Niall feels the heat of his gaze and the warmth of his smile as they share a short, soft kiss.   
    
“So, Liam, what are your intentions with my Niall?” Harry asks with his arms crossed as Niall slips into his jacket.   
    
“That’s enough, _mum_ ,” Niall rolls his eyes, taking Liam’s hand.   
    
“I swear I have completely pure intentions,” Liam promises, smoothing down the back of Niall’s collar when he notices Niall struggling with it. Niall smiles at him gratefully.   
    
“Hm,” Harry purses his lips, but there’s a softness in his features as he watches them, “wrong answer, Liam. I expect to hear all the dirty details about the end of your night first thing in the morning.”   
    
“ _Harry -”_   
    
“Okay, okay, you two crazy kids go have a good time,” Harry giggles, pushing the two of them out the door. “I’ll try not to wait up.”   
    
Liam takes Niall’s hand again as the door closes behind them, and Niall tries to control the butterflies taking flight in his stomach.   
    
\--   
    
“You sure this place is any good, Payno?” Niall asks, eyeing his menu skeptically. Liam wasn’t kidding about not be able to read half the things on it. He truly doesn’t know what most of this shit is.   
    
“Got the best reviews,” Liam shrugs, “though I sort of wish we’d just gotten takeaway now.”   
    
Niall’s stomach growls loudly. “I’d kill for some Nandos right now.”   
    
“No Nandos for at least a few hundred miles I’m pretty sure,” Liam frowns. “Only got ‘em in DC here don’t they?”   
    
“You’re killing me, Liam.”   
    
They end up getting a bottle of wine and some pasta dish that looks safe and pronounceable to be on the safe side, and once Niall’s put some food in his belly, he finds himself have a nice time. There’s never a time when he doesn’t enjoy himself with Liam, if he’s being honest. Liam’s always known how to make him laugh and how to calm him down when he’s worried or stressed. Liam always says that Niall’s his rock, but Liam is Niall’s rock too, and Niall doesn’t think that’ll ever change.   
    
Halfway through the night Liam tangles his feet with Niall’s under the table, rubbing soothingly at Niall’s ankles and up the line of his calf. Niall’s not even sure if he’s aware he’s doing it. He likes the small point of contact though, appreciates it when they’re somewhere where they really do have to be careful with what they do and say. The restaurant's fairly secluded and extremely high class, but that doesn’t mean they can do what they please without worry.   
    
“Shall we order dessert, or get out of here?” Liam asks, pushing the last remains of his dish around his plate.   
    
“Think I’d rather get out of here, if I’m being honest,” Niall admits with a sheepish grin. “Don’t think I can sit here much longer.”   
    
“Thank God, I was thinking the same thing,” Liam laughs, lifting his hand to call over the waiter.   
    
They argue over the bill, both insisting that they can pay until Liam mentions that he was the one who asked Niall to dinner, so of course he has to pay.   
    
“Next time, when you ask me out, you can pay for the bill,” he promises as Niall pouts grumpily.   
    
“Why do I have the feeling you’re still going to fight to pay for a meal then as well,” Niall asks dryly, lightly kicking Liam in the shin under the table.   
    
Liam just winks at him, yelping when Niall kicks him again, harder this time. Niall doesn’t regret it, not even when the glares coming from the table next to theirs match Liam’s own.   
    
\--   
    
“What we got planned for the rest of the night then, Leemo?” Niall asks as they wait outside the restaurant for the car to pick them up.   
    
It’s late, the streets around them fairly quiet and empty, so when Liam takes Niall’s hand and intertwines their fingers, Niall is only a little surprised. “Was thinking of getting on our feet for a little? Maybe a friendly game of mini golf?”   
    
“Now we’re talking,” Niall says, grateful for the choice. Dinner was nice, but sitting around for so long has made him antsy and ready to do something with his restless energy.   
    
They find a mini golf course not far from the restaurant, getting in easily. It’s surprisingly not too crowded given it’s a summer night, but Niall’s counting his lucky stars. The last thing they need is a group of hysterical teens on their tail the whole night. Even with Paddy following them around at a respectable distance, that’s something best avoided.   
    
The game gets competitive quickly, and Niall’s reminded early on about how Liam’s drive and ambition is not secluded to just his career. It’s more fun than he’s had in ages though, laughing with Liam as they make each other mess up their strokes and share quick kisses behind Paddy’s back when there’s no one around.   
    
Niall’s phone rings while they’re at the windmill, making him bring down his stroke too hard in surprise. His ball flies off, hitting one of the turbines and bouncing away in the opposite direction.   
    
“Fucking Styles,” Niall grumbles as he takes out his phone. “Even when he’s not here he’s ruining my perfect game.”   
    
“Hardly a perfect game,” Liam snorts. “Pretty sure I’m winning.”   
    
Niall ignores Harry’s text, not even bothering to look at it before he puts his phone on silent and back into his pocket. “That’s only because you pinched my bum at the castle and I hit my ball in the wrong direction.”   
    
“Maybe you just have to work on your swing,” Liam insists, coming behind Niall and placing his hands on his waist. “I could show you if you want.”   
    
“Pretty sure I spend a lot more time out in the green than you do,” Niall rolls his eyes. “I could beat your arse any day at a fair game.”   
    
Liam giggles, pressing closer to Niall’s back and making Niall’s breath in hitch in surprise. It’s a daring move for Liam, especially when they could be spotted. Niall wonders if it’s the wine they’ve both drunk that’s making Liam bolder than usual, but he decides not push things when Liam is feeling so obviously comfortable.   
    
“This is a totally different art though,” Liam whispers, and Jesus, his voice is all low and husky and Niall should definitely not be getting a stiffy while they’re playing fucking mini golf of all things. “It’s all about the hips.”   
    
Niall feels too warm all of a sudden, a different kind of restlessness taking over as Liam rolls his hips in demonstration. He’s not thinking about who’s around or who could see, he’s just wondering if there’s somewhere they go so he can get down on his knees and Liam can show him exactly what he can do with his hips.   
    
“How upset would you be if we cut this game short?” Niall asks, trying to keep his voice even and calm.   
    
“Not upset at all.”   
    
\--   
    
In the morning, Niall wakes up like he usually does, feeling too hot with the sheets tangled around his ankles and his chest plastered to Liam’s back. This morning there’s a pounding on the door though that’s absolutely nothing for the slight thumping in his head and he really needs it to stop.   
    
“Liam go see who it is,” he mumbles, pressing his toes into Liam’s calves in an attempt to wake him.   
    
“No, it’s your room,” Liam grumbles back, “you have to get it.”   
    
Niall finally stumbles out of bed when there’s a voice calling his name, pulling the covers off the rest of Liam in spite. Liam’s whine of protest gives Niall a bit of needed satisfaction.   
    
Niall checks who’s at the door before opening it, glad it’s just Louis and not some crazy fan who’s slipped past security. He opens the door, completely unconcerned that he’s just in the briefs he slipped on after spotting them on the ground. He thinks they might be Liam’s, but he’s not sure.   
    
“For fuck’s sake Niall what took you so long?” Louis snaps, clearly irritated. “And would you kill you to put some bloody clothes on?”   
    
“Can’t wake me up at arse o’clock in the morning and expect me to put clothes on, Lou,” Niall grins, but it falters when Louis doesn’t return his smile. “What’s wrong? Something happen?”   
    
“Is Liam awake?” Louis asks, looking around Niall and trying to peer into the bedroom of his suite.   
    
Niall frowns, his heart quickening its pace at the worry clear in Louis’s sharp features. “No, we were both sleeping. Why? What the fuck’s happened?”   
    
Louis takes his phone out of his pocket, shoving it in Niall’s hand before crossing his arms and waiting expectantly. Niall looks at the article Louis’s got pulled up curiously, and immediately wishes he hadn’t. He feels sick to his stomach, dizzy from last night’s wine and his sudden worry.   
    
It’s a story from The Sun, the headline a blur to Niall, but the pictures standing out clear as day. Pictures from last night. Of him and Liam.   
    
“Fuck,” Niall whines as he scrolls through the article. The pictures don’t stop. There’s one of them holding hands outside the restaurant, one of them stealing a kiss on the mini golf course, one of Liam standing with his hands on Niall’s hips in front of the windmill. Niall thinks he may be ill.   
    
“He can’t see these. Louis, fuck, he’s going to flip. We can’t -”   
    
“He’s going to find out,” Louis says sympathetically, prying his phone out of Niall’s hand. “It’s probably going to be everywhere soon enough and you know management will want to have their say.”   
    
Niall feels like he can’t breathe, his dizziness suddenly overwhelming. It’s the same feeling he gets when they’re about to perform on TV or when he’s starting to get too trapped and confined. There’s a tightening in his chest that can really mean one thing. Panic. Anxiety.   
    
He must look a mess because Louis’s eyes widen and he grabs onto Niall’s arm tight. “Niall, breathe. Don’t - it’ll be okay, yeah? Liam’s strong, he can handle this.”   
    
Niall nods, wanting to believe Louis’s words, but all he can think about is how this is exactly what Liam didn’t want, how it’s probably Niall’s fault for pushing him past his comfort zone. Louis leads him to the couch and sits him down. Niall breathes deeply - in through his mouth, out through his nose, trying to regain control of his own body.   
    
Luckily Niall’s calmed down a bit when Liam stumbles out of the bedroom, still bleary-eyed and disoriented from just having properly woken up. He takes in the way Niall’s curled into Louis’s side in confusion, his face distorting into a worried frown.   
    
“What’s wrong? Babe, are you okay?”   
    
Liam’s at Niall’s other side instantly, a calm, steady hand rubbing down his back. Niall leans into his touch, lets Liam pull him closer to his side and push his hair back from his face. His touch is familiar, soothing, helping ease Niall’s guilt with its tenderness.   
    
“What happened?” Liam asks Louis over the top of Niall’s head. He’s still running his thick fingers through Niall’s hair, the way he’s rubbing at Niall’s scalp incredibly calming.   
    
Niall hears Louis sigh deeply, can picture the downward tilt of his lips as he says, “Something we need to talk about, Liam.”   
    
\--   
    
They meet up with Harry and Zayn across the hall in Louis’s room, sitting Liam down on the couch with Niall on one side of him and Zayn on the other. Niall keeps a firm hand on Liam’s thigh, biting at the nails of his other one as he watches Liam scroll through the article that Louis’s still got open on his phone.   
    
Liam reacts much the same way that Niall does. He lets out a low, worried whine in the back of his throat, the blood visibly draining from his face. Niall tightens his hold on him, sees Zayn reach out and place a comforting hand to the small of his back.   
    
“Liam, say something,” Zayn requests, chewing nervously on the corner of his lip. “Are you okay, babe?”   
    
Liam startles, like he’s forgotten that there are other people in the room with him. “I’m, uh - shit -”   
    
He gets up abruptly, causing Niall’s hand to fall limply by his side. Liam thrusts Louis’s phone back at him before heading in the direction of the bedroom and closing the door harshly behind him. Niall doesn’t hear the click of the lock, but it’s a small consolation.   
    
“Well that went -” Louis starts, trailing off at the end of his sentence, eyes drawn to the closed door.   
    
“Better than expected?” Harry suggests.   
    
Louis nods. He pushes Zayn gently, urging him to scoot over next to Niall so he can sit down properly. “Honestly? Yeah. Was expecting a bit more of a blow-up.”   
    
“I shouldn’t have said anything to him. I didn’t want - I shouldn’t have pushed him,” Niall mutters.   
    
“This isn’t your fault, Niall,” Zayn disagrees, wrapping his arms around Niall as best he can. Niall sinks into him still, taking comfort in the feel of his small, familiar frame around him. “Listen, you know how Liam is. He wouldn’t ever do anything he’s not comfortable with. If he didn’t want to go out, he wouldn’t have, yeah? There’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent this.”   
    
“I still feel awful though,” Niall admits. The sick bubbling in his stomach hasn’t subsided at all since he first saw the photos. “He was just starting to become comfortable with all this, and now that’s ruined. He’s gonna see such fucking awful things and you know that’ll absolutely kill him.”   
    
“Nothing we won’t be here to help him through,” Harry says, placing a hand on Niall’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Niall. We’re here for him - for both of you.”   
    
Niall nods, thinking that maybe the bubbling is lessening to a hot simmer now. It’s still there though, making things raw and painful like an open wound.   
    
“Okay, budge over then, Zayn. I want to be on cuddle duty,” Louis says, crawling over Zayn’s lap and making a spot for himself between him and Niall. “You go check on Payno.”   
    
“Right, give me the hard job,” Zayn rolls his eyes, punching Louis in the shoulder lightly. “Probably gonna have to physically restrain Liam to keep him off Twitter, and you get to cuddle Niall. That’s real cool, bro.”   
    
Niall manages a small giggle as Louis grins at Zayn brightly, causing Zayn to stick his tongue out childishly. He saunters over towards the closed bedroom door nonetheless, letting himself in without knocking.   
    
“It’ll be okay, love, don’t worry,” Louis says again, running his fingers through Niall’s hair like Liam was earlier.   
    
Niall’s starting to believe it.   
    
\--   
    
Harry and Louis take Niall down to the hotel pool for the morning, all three of them leaving their phones in Louis’s suite so they can have at least a couple hours of peace before the shitstorm that they know is sure to come. Niall’s never been more grateful for these boys that he has learned to call his family, who he knows will do anything for him no matter what the circumstances are.   
    
They head back up around lunch time, Niall ignoring the still ever-increasing amount of phone calls he’s gotten - from their management, from his mum, from Bressie and Eoghan and his friends back home - to take a shower and maybe have a small kip. He’s not fully ready to deal with all this yet, but he thinks he will be soon.   
    
Niall’s more than ready to crawl under the covers for a couple hours when there’s a knock on his door. His heart leaps into his throat when he opens it and finds Liam on the other side, looking tired, but otherwise calm and more collected than Niall was expecting.   
    
“Hi,” Niall greets a bit dumbly because he doesn’t know what else to say.   
    
Liam gives a small half smile in response. “Hi. Um, can I come in?”   
    
“‘Course.”   
    
Liam closes the door behind him, following Niall into the bedroom of his suite. It’s uncharacteristically messy, clothes still strewn everywhere from Niall getting ready the night before. Niall can’t believe that less than twenty-four hours ago his biggest worry was what to wear out to dinner.   
    
The two of them crawl into Niall’s bed, a bit of tension that Niall didn’t even realize he felt slipping away when Liam hooks a leg over Niall’s hip and throws his arm across Niall’s stomach. Niall’s hands instinctively go into Liam’s hair as Liam pillows his head on Niall’s chest, and they lie there in silence until Liam finally speaks.   
    
“Are you okay?”   
    
He’s looking up at Niall with large, concerned eyes that make Niall’s chest constrict. All this, and Liam’s only worrying about him. “Are _you_ okay? I’ve been worrying myself sick wondering how you were going to react.”   
    
“I’m okay I think,” Liam says softly. “Zayn didn’t let me on Twitter or anything so I guess it hasn’t really hit me yet. But it was bound to happen sometime right? This leaking to the press? Would’ve preferred it a bit later rather than sooner, but there’s nothing to do about it now is there?”   
    
“I’m so sorry, Liam,” Niall says. “This is such a mess. I had a fucking panic attack this morning thinking about what would happen when you saw all this, how upset you would be. I know you aren’t ready to take this public and I basically ruined the whole trying to take things slow pace.”   
    
“Niall, no,” Liam says fiercely, sitting up so he can look down at Niall properly. “This isn’t your fault.”   
    
“But -”   
    
“No buts,” Liam interrupts. He places a hand on Niall’s face, kissing him slow and open-mouthed and Niall is so desperate to press as close to Liam as he can, to feel his warmth and comfort everywhere.   
    
“Listen I know this isn’t - convenient. And it’s not what I wanted, but it’s not your fault,” Liam repeats. His mouth is still close to Niall’s, and Niall wants to reach up and kiss him again. “I’m not mad at you. I’m upset, but it’s not at you and it’s not even at myself. We just - it’s gonna be hard, Ni. But we’ll get through this together, right?”   
    
Niall does reach up to kiss Liam again then, an arm going around Liam’s neck and another in his hair. Liam lays his body on top of Niall’s, their legs tangled together, Niall’s socked toes pressing into Liam’s calves. Niall tries to put everything he can into the kiss. How he’s still sorry no matter what Liam says, how of course he’s here for Liam, how he’ll always be here for Liam, how he’ll do whatever he can to help them both through this.   
    
They’re both breathless when Liam pulls away. His mouth is sinfully pink and he looks so beautiful hovering above Niall like this. Niall’s not sure what he did to deserve him.   
    
“It’ll be okay,” Niall says, repeating the same words he’s been hearing all day.   
    
Liam beams down at him, crinkly-eyed and fond. Niall thinks he understands now about Liam having a “Niall Face.”   
    
“We will be, Niall. Don’t worry.”   
    
\--   
    
**Epilogue**   
    
Niall doesn’t remember the last time they’ve done this many interviews at once, but he knows he’s sure as hell tired of it all. It’s exhausting, talking to an endless stream of unfamiliar faces who are all asking them basically the same thing. He just wants to go home and curl up in bed and sleep for ages.   
    
“When will this be over?” he whines, burying his head in Liam’s shoulder as they wait for whatever’s coming up next.   
    
“Soon enough, love,” he reassures, kissing the top of Niall’s head.   
    
“This is all your bloody fault, Neil,” Louis reminds him, kicking the back of Niall’s chair. Niall doesn’t even the energy to tell him off. “Don’t understand why we all have to be here when they’re obviously only going to be asking about you two idiots.”   
    
“Moral support,” Harry explains. “We have to show the world that we’re a supportive loving band.”   
    
“It’s too bad I don’t actually like any of you.”   
    
“Shove off, Tommo. We literally only have like two more interviews to get through. Just relax, bro,” Zayn laughs. Niall doesn’t need to turn around to know he’s probably got an arm around Louis’s shoulder at this point.   
    
Niall sits up as the next interview approaches them, a younger bloke with neat hair and neater clothes. Niall’s already thinking interview will go better than the last.   
    
“Ready boys? Sorry, I know you must be tired, so we’ll keep this quick.”   
    
The questions are easy, standard, nothing they haven’t heard since the press junket started. Niall’s grateful that despite all his whining, Louis keeps a steady hand on his shoulder the whole time, a comforting weight to go along with Liam’s arm around his waist.   
    
The past few weeks haven’t been easy, Liam and Niall getting the kind response they all were expecting. There’s been massive support for the two of them from a lot of fans, but for every thousand words of encouragement, there are nasty, brutal messages that make Niall question the state of today’s society. The both of them have been on complete social media lockdown, which is probably for the best, and it’s definitely making things easier to get through.   
    
“Has coming out affected your relationship at all?” the interviewer asks, looking between Niall and Liam curiously.   
    
“We’ve had our ups and downs,” Liam shrugs, looking straight at Niall as he speaks. “It’s been hard, the stress of it all, but overall we’ve been getting through it pretty okay.”   
    
Liam’s had a smile on his face the whole day, despite the tiredness in his eyes, and Niall is suddenly hit with how proud he is of him. He’s been amazing the past couple weeks, stronger than Niall expected, and he really wishes that there was someway to show Liam how amazing he is.   
    
“Yeah, we’ve been pretty lucky I suppose,” Niall says, tearing his eyes away from Liam. He’s unsure of how long he can contain the emotion building up inside him if he keeps looking at Liam’s soft smile and warm eyes.   
    
“Very lucky,” Liam agrees, kissing Niall’s cheek softly. “Can’t imagine going through this with anyone else.”

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A DAY LATE AND I'M SORRY!!! I didn't really realize that it would be this long or extensive or anything - I don't know how this happened.
> 
> Thank you so much to [loey](http://archiveofourown.org/users/loey) for organizing this exchange! You're one of my favorite writers so I really hope I did your prompt for established relationship schmoop justice (totally didn't feel any pressure!).


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